Narunimals
by iwrestledabeartwice
Summary: The last chapter of this fanfic is sort of an intro to my sister's fanfic Ask The Naruto Peoples! so you should check that out. It's funny as hell. This story involves most of the Naruto characters, excluding a certain evil clan, becoming ANIMALS! R&R plz
1. Chapter 1: Animalnapped!

-1_Hn…hmmm…wha?! Huh?! Where am I?_

"Hey, Sasuke! Where are we?!"

"Hn… get out of my house, loser!" Sasuke said, half-asleep. When he got up, ready to kick Naruto out of his house, he realized what he was talking about.

"What have you done, you idiot?!"

"IT WASN'T ME!!"

"Then who _was_ it, genius?!"

"I DON'T KNOW!"

"Don't howl, loser."

"Grrr…"

Just then Sakura woke up, too.

"Hn… what are you guys doing in my house? AAH!! WHERE'S M-MY HOUSE?!"

"We don't know, Sakura…what're you doing now, Sasuke?! Trying to act all cool again and make me look like a fool in front of everyone?"

"No, that just happens naturally."

"Grrr! You see… you see?! That's exactly what I'm talking about!"

"Sorry… loser."

"THAT'S IT!! DIE!!"

Naruto lunged at Sasuke, but Sasuke dodged and hit him in his back hard enough to knock the breath out of him. Naruto laid on the ground, trying to catch his breath.

"You're…a real…jerkass…you know?"

"Yes. Now what I was trying to do before you suggested the whole 'you not being cool' thing, was looking at all of these people…well…I think they used to be people…and in the lake next to us to see our reflections."

"I can't even see you clearly for all of this fog. That's why you were able to knock me to the ground."

"Oh, don't flatter yourself."

"Wha…I don't smell anything."

Sakura butted in. "He said flatter not flatulent…idiot!!" They continued to argue and the racket they were making woke Kakashi.

"What could a fox, a panther, and a snow leopard be fighting and arguing about?…and…why can I UNDERSTAND THEM?!…and WHY DO THEY SOUND EXACTLY LIKE NARUTO, SASUKE, AND SAKURA?! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!! HELP ME, GAI!! I'VE GONE CRAZY!! AAAAAHHH!"

The trio heard this and looked immediately in the lake. Kakashi was RIGHT! They were a fox, a panther, and a snow leopard. They looked and saw a water buffalo screaming, 'HELP ME, GAI!' in Kakashi's voice. Sakura fainted right then and there.

The white snow leopard lay there for a half-hour, then woke up in a cage. She looked around and saw a fox (Naruto), a panther (Sasuke), a water buffalo (Kakashi-sensei), a yellow lion with a red mane (Gai-sensei), a yellow lion with no mane yet (Lee), a Siberian Husky (Neji), a light-brown pony with blonde hair (Temari), a black dog (Gaara), a similar black dog (Orochimaru), a dark-colored lion (sort of brownish) with a dark-brown mane and a Dalmatian puppy on top of his head (Kiba & Akamaru), a similar Dalmatian, but not a puppy (Kabuto), a light-brown colored squirrel (Hinata), a large (pretty large for a bear cub, anyway) bear cub (Shino), a moose (Shikamaru), a fat, dark-brown dog (Choji), and a light-brown dog with curly, fluffy ears (Ino).

They were all confused and scared. Orochimaru and Kabuto began to talk.

"Kabuto."

"Yes, Lord Orochimaru?"

"Where in the hell are we?!"

"I'm…not sure, Lord Orochimaru."

"You don't have to call me that after every time you say something to me."

"Yes, Lord Orochimaru. Sorry, Lord Orochimaru."

"Just shut up."

"Yes, Lo…"

"DON'T EVEN!"

"Sorry, Lord Orochimaru."

"IDIOT!" Orochimaru lunged at Kabuto, but realized that he was in a separate cage. The bars weren't wide enough for him to stretch any part of his body out of the cage. So he could not harm Kabuto as he so deeply desired.

"Hahaha…good old Orochimaru. Still as easy to aggravate as ever, I see." came a mysteriously familiar voice from the shadows. Team 7 wondered who it was too. The figure stepped forward. Sasuke jumped. It was Itachi! He wasn't an animal, though…which was weird.

"Itachi!!" Sasuke screamed.

"Well, well…the gang's all here." Itachi said with evil excitement. "I want them all!" Itachi said with evil anticipation. "They will be mine! ALL MIIIINE!!" Itachi said with evil…evilness.

Naruto jumped as well. "AAAAHH!! Itachi's giant!"

"No, you idiot!" Itachi replied. "You're all tiny little miniature animals."

"What do you want with us, Itachi?" Kakashi asked sternly.

"I don't think you need to know that right now, Kakashi." Itachi replied.

"Shut up and tell us!" Sasuke demanded.

"I said… I don't think you need to know that right now!"

"Oh, come on, Itachi." another voice came from the shadows. Kisame emerged this time.

"AAAAAHHH!!" Naruto exclaimed. "Itachi turned Kisame into an animal, too!"

"No, you idiot!" Sakura corrected him. "He was always half shark!"

"Oh. Well, how was I supposed to know?!"

Sakura only sighed. Kisame continued his argument.

"Why can't you just eat them now? It's not like they have anything to look forward to."

"But I do."

"What could you possibly have to look forward to?!"

"_THEM!!"_

"Oh… right."

"Anyway, since you blabbed it to them that I'm planning to eat them, I might as well eat a few now."

Naruto just realized what was happening (or at least caught up to speed on what everyone else knew was going on). "Oh my freaking God! Itachi's gonna EAT US?!"

Sakura answered Naruto's question. "Yes, you idiot! You finally realize that?!"

"YES!!"

Sasuke was surprised that anyone did this, even Itachi. "You eat raw, live animals?!"

"Yes." he replied. Itachi reached in one of the cages and grabbed Gaara.

Gaara answered accordingly, "As Lord Kazekage of my village, I command you to put me down this instant."

Itachi only laughed. "Ha! I'm gonna eat you and there's nothing you can do about it!"

"You leave me no choice then." Gaara's sand reached out and grabbed Itachi's hand. Itachi reacted by throwing Gaara to the ground and shaking the sand off of his hand. When Gaara landed on the ground, he immediately began to take off. Temari yelled out to him before he left, "Save me, too, Gaara!", but Gaara replied as he was running, "I am the Kazekage of our village. If I try to save you now, I will get caught again and our village will still have no leader and neither of us will escape.". Temari only glared at him with anger and jealousy as he ran out the door. _SLAM!!_


	2. The Great Escape!

-1The whole group turned to the opposite end of the room, where they heard the _SLAM!!_ from. It was

GAARA!! He looked as surprised as everyone else (except for Itachi, who knew that that would happen,

and Temari, who was too pissed off to care).

Itachi began to explain.

"You see, this is a never-ending room that happens to come with doors, so that door over there opens to this

door here."

Also, almost immediately after that, a small, white polar bear fell into an empty cage. Itachi turned to face her. It was Tenten (suggested by PurpleWolf Star35. Sorry I forgot her).

"Ah… my collection is now complete and now I can have my feast."

Tenten looked around and seemed very confused. She found Neji and screamed out, "Neji! Where are we?! I'm scared and confused! HELP!"

"Shut up, or Itachi will eat you first!" Neji replied.

"Wha- you care about me?"

"Hn…"

"You DO care! Aww, Neji. If I could hug you…"

Gaara was still confused and darting his head from side to side, every other time looking over at Temari

(who was still very angry, by the way). Kisame walked over and quickly grabbed Gaara and threw him into

a plastic chamber. Itachi stripped him of his gourd and threw it to the ground, and then closed the chamber.

Kisame attached a vacuum to the top of the small plastic container and sucked out all of the air.

Gaara began to suffocate, and his sand immediately moved to the plastic chamber. The sand covered it in a thick layer, and started contracting, attempting to crush the plastic and provide Gaara some air. The plastic was, like, an inch thick, however, and very strong. By the time Gaara was free, it was too late. Gaara was dead. The sand receded into the abyss. Everyone, especially Temari, stood and watched in fear and awe. Itachi picked the dead kazekage up and stared at him.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk. Pitiful. It is soooo sad that I won't be able to enjoy him raw and wriggling… alive… but I can

still eat him fresh off the grill!" he perked up suddenly as he said so. "Kisame, start the grill!"

Kisame sighed. "Yeah, sure." Itachi waited…and waited… and waited…

"KISAME!!"

"What?!"

"How long does it take to start a grill?!"

"More than ten seconds…which is how long I've been gone! This is why I never grill for you, Itachi! You're so impatient!"

"Wha…I…ugh…tuh…I can't believe…ugh…tuh…Grrr!"

"Yeah, Itachi! You're impatient!"

"NO!"

"Yes."

"NO!"

"Yes!"

"NOOOOOOOO!!"

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!!"

"…ok, fine!"

"GRRR!"

"Just grill Gaara."

"NO!"

"Why?!"

"You're impatient!"

"… … what does that have to do with anything?"

"GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!! I'LL KILL YOU!"

"Now, now, let's not make empty threats."

"Fine! … but I'm not grilling you anything ever again."

"Fine. Tobi!"

Tobi came running up from who knows where.

"Tobi's here! Tobi's a good boy!"

"Good boy, Tobi."

"Tobi's a good boy!"

"Now, Tobi… can you grill this for me in under fifteen seconds?!"

"Sure! …if you'll say that I'm a good boy."

"Tobi's a good boy." Itachi replied in a bored monotone.

"Yay! Tobi's a good boy!"

"Now go do it, Tobi!"

Tobi ran and, exactly fourteen seconds later, came back with a grilled, hot Gaara burger.

"Tobi did it! Tobi's a good boy!"

"Yes. Good boy, Tobi. But I have to ask, how'd you do it?"

"Tobi's a good boy!"

"Yes, I know, but how?"

"……Tobi's a good boy!"

"I know, but HOW?!"

"…………Tobi's a…"

"GOOD BOY!! WE KNOW!! BUT… HOW??"

"………………Tobi's a…"

"SHUT UUUUUUUUUUUUP!!"

Tobi began to cry. "Tobi's not a good boy?"

Itachi sighed. "Yes… Tobi's a … good boy."

"Yay! Skip, skip, skip…" Tobi said as he skipped merrily along home.

Kisame butted in. "He seemed more hyperactive than usual."

Just then, Deidara came out, panting heavily and shivering.

Itachi sighed again. "Oh, well." Then he popped his Gaara burger into his mouth, chewed it thoroughly, and swallowed him. "Hmmm… ugh! The aftertaste is horrible! What did this guy eat?!"

Temari answered, "Sand."

"Ugh! It was a mistake to bring him here…"

"It was horrible!" Deidara cried.

"…hmm?" Kisame just saw him when he said that. "Hey, Itachi, look! It's Deidara!"

"I know."

"When did he get here?"

"A few seconds ago."

"Oh…"

…

…

…

Things were silent for a while, and then Deidara broke the silence.

"WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY??"

"Geez!! Why what?" Kisame asked.

"Why why what?" Itachi asked.

"What?"

"Why what why why what?"

"… … what?"

"Why what what why what why why what?!"

"…………………what?"

Itachi inhaled, "WHY WHAT WHY WHAT WHAT WHY WHAT WHY WHY WHAT?!"

"… I don't know."

"Nevermind!"

"WHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!" Deidara cried.

"Why what?"

"NOT THIS AGAIN!"

"WHYYYYYYYYYYYY?!"

"Shut up, Itachi!"

"You shut up, fish brain!"

"WHY?!"

Sakura whispered to Sasuke, "There idiots!"

Sasuke replied, "I know."

"I'm smarter than an ordinary fish…" Kisame sniffled.

"I'm sorry, Kisame."

"Why?" Deidara questioned, calmly this time.

"Okay, Deidara. What happened?" Kisame asked.

"TOBI'S A GOOD BOY!!" he answered very loudly, becoming hysterical.

"Okay, we've heard enough of that from Tobi, n…"

"TOBI'S A GOOD BOY!!"

"…owwwwwwwwooooooooowwwww!! That almost deafened me!"

Itachi pushed Kisame aside. "Alright, Deidara, what happened to Tobi?"

"Coffee…" he muttered.

"Coffee?!"

"Caffeine…"

"Ohhh… hyper from caffeine from coffee… how much did he drink?"

"A LOT!"

Suddenly, they heard a rumbling from behind the kitchen door. It kept getting louder and louder!

…until…

"TOOOOOOOOOOBI'S A GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOY!!"

"Shit, he drank more!!"

In all the confusion, Naruto got a bright idea, for once! He got right up to the edge of the bars and performed his shadow clone jutsu and a clone appeared on the other side. The clone then opened the cage and poofed away, but Naruto was free to let everyone else free as well. As Itachi and Kisame tried to get a hold of Tobi and Deidara cowered in a corner, the entire Naruto crew went behind them all into the unknown where all of the Akatsuki members had emerged from. It seemed to be their only way out.


	3. Transition to Ask The Naruto Peoples!

-1Naruto led the crew out though the door that wasn't a fake one that led to the other end of the room, carefully avoiding the Akatsuki's feet (for they are still very small). It was especially hard to avoid Tobi, who was dancing around them very speedily.

"Tobi! Get back here NOW!" Itachi ordered.

"Tobi's a good boy! Tobi doesn't want to go back there!"

"Why not?" Kisame asked.

"Tobi didn't like the tight hugging jacket they put on Tobi!"

"…What is he talking about, Kisame?"

"I think he just described a straight-jacket."

"Tobi doesn't like the funny farm!! It's not funny at all!"

"When were you institutionalized, Tobi?" Kisame asked.

"Tobi doesn't like big words!"

"When did you visit the funny farm, Tobi?!" Itachi interrogated.

"It was yeeeeeeeeeears ago, Itachi-san. Back before the Akatsuki."

"O…kay…"

The Naruto crew went down a very long hallway until they finally reached a door. It took a while for them to cooperate, but they eventually made a ladder for Naruto to climb and open the knob. They were falling and falling until they landed in a dark room. It seemed to go on forever. Then they heard a booming voice say, "Hi, everybody!"

"Where are we?" Sasuke demanded.

"That's none of your business!! Now, does everyone know _why _they are here?"

Everyone shook their heads. I sighed.

"You are here to be brutally tortured at my and the reviews will!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!"

Ino and Sakura started crying while others were either unchanged or just scared out of their minds.

"Geez, I was just kidding. Well, sort of." I turned to you (A.K.A: the invisible audience) "Important Note: No shinobi were harmed in the making of this fanfic!" I turned back to the Naruto cast and handed them all pieces of paper. "Now sign this."

"What's this?" Naruto asked.

"It's just a legal contract that says I am not responsible for any injury or death that occurs here."

Sakura and Ino started crying again.

"Stop crying!! Now, from here on out, you will all refer to me as Poison-sama!! Understood?"

All nodded immediately except for one fool who dared to mutter "Make me."

"What was that?!" I snapped. I turned to Sasuke. "It was you, wasn't it?! Don't deny it!!"

"It was Itachi, I swear."

:To be continued in the story: "Ask the Naruto Peoples!":


End file.
